Balancing Act: Finding Time for Family and Writing

frustrated

frustrated (Photo credit: jonwatson)

Since I started blogging a few months ago I’ve noticed that a lot of the blogs I follow are written by moms who, like me, have to split their time between writing, family, as well as a job or a home business that demands their attention. Even on the best days, I feel that I come up short. Either I didn’t get around to editing as much as I needed or I didn’t get to spend as much time with my girls as I would have liked to. The guilt kills me, but try as I might, I am just not willing to give up any of the things that make my life great: my family, my work or my writing. Not that I think I should have to choose, but there has to be an easier way. So I thought I might ask you, the readers, to offer suggestions. Perhaps you have figured out a way to have it all, or at least have most of it minus the guilt. Either way I am desparate for ideas, because I have set a deadline for myself and I am afraid…I am very afraid that I am going to let myself down and that I will lose the drive to keep going.

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6 comments on “Balancing Act: Finding Time for Family and Writing

  1. I do understand how you feel, but I would also like to say–being a mother is a job in itself. Anything else you can do on top of that is like icing on a cake that you should be very proud of. Rather than feel guilty or bad about it, celebrate your strength and determination to be more than just one thing and wear it proud. (Even the catsup and other sticky things that come with motherhood.) you are amazing and don’t forget it!

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  2. Thank you Ionia, I really needed to hear that. It’s hard sometimes when you’re trying to do it all and you feel that things are falling through the cracks. I agree it’s important to feel good about what you’re doing and just try your best to do it well.

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  3. I have one child (who’s almost four), who has to be watched constantly or he’ll paint the walls with yogurt or get in Daddy’s tools and take something apart (he likes to make ‘inventions’), so when I write I have to do it in the same room he is in. I learned (or picked up a bad habit) of carrying my laptop to whatever room I’m in and writing whenever I get time. That way I can still have constant conversations or playtime with my son and can write when he’s absorbed in playing with his trains or watching TV. He’s sits in the recliner with me a lot and because we’re a tech family, he’s either got his laptop or my kindle playing games or watching netflix so during that time I get some writing in-even if it is with a little guy elbowing me and trying to type on my laptop. Some people can’t write with so many distractions around but it’s something I’ve adapted to doing. I don’t know if that’s something you could do but one thing I know as a mom-there is little to no private time even when you’re trying to shower or pee unless your kids (or man-their just as needy as kids sometimes lol) are asleep (and I usually want to be too) or they spend a day at Grandma’s (which is usually when I’m at work) so you have to adapt to a writing routine like that. Unless Daddy will watch the little ones or you have older children who don’t constantly need Mommy for everything (even though Daddy is right there) it’s hard to slip away to another room and write in private. Mine will pound on the door whenever I leave the room and scream, “Mommy what are you doing?”, a million times until I let him in. That’s how I do it-I don’t know if that helps any.

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  4. Now I feel like a big whiny baby, because my girls are 14 and 18 and my hubby is really the most supportive and helpful guy I could ask for. But I run a tutoring business from home and this close to the end of the school year is when I am at my crankiest and most overworked self. I’ve set a goal for myself that I will finish revisions and any editing by the end of summer, since I am not that busy during July and August. I really want to be ready to self publish by Fall. So thank you for putting things in perspective for me. If you can do it with such a young child, hats off to you and I need to pull myself together. I also want to say that it’s so inspiring to know that you manage to write even with all the million things going on around you. What a great example to set for your kids. Happy writing!

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